The surgery began around 8:25, and Anna Claire was born at 8:40 in the morning. I heard her cries first and asked over and over, "Is it a girl? Is it a girl?" And finally someone confirmed that she indeed was my little girl that I had prayed and hoped for, and the nurse brought her around so I could see her. I instantly fell so in love with her and every ounce of anxiety just melted away, as I could see that she was finally here, healthy, and strong. Tears flowed as I was filled with so many emotions, but most of all, complete gratitude for this amazing blessing. Now all I had to do was count the minutes until I could finally hold her. The rest of the surgery took almost an hour, as I had my tubes tied and my doctor took an extra long time closing me up, making sure I would not have the same complications that I did before. To my surprise, they let me hold Anna Claire on my chest as they wheeled me back to my room.
I was able to nurse Anna Claire right away, and then my nurse (who had no other patients but me that day!) took her and gave her a bath, and I started to feel the effects of the drugs and was not feeling well. The next few hours are a bit of a blur, as I was in and out from the phenergan I was given during the surgery. After lunch, I began to feel better, and we started to make plans for the boys to come meet their little sister. When they arrived, they were slightly apprehensive but came in bearing gifts and greeted their sister very well. I had been pretty anxious about this moment, but it went better than I could have ever expected, and I was so proud of Jack and Owen for being so sweet to their new sister. We were also thankful to have family in town for Thanksgiving, and they were able to meet Anna Claire the day she was born.
We had a slight complication the next day, when most of my staples fell out, and Dr. Walker had to come back and put stitches in. Still, I was able to go home on Monday, and I was so thankful. Matt and I were both ready to be back home with the boys and ready to start this new chapter of our lives. Jack and Owen were so thankful to finally have us all under one roof again.
And so the last two weeks have been filled with getting to know Anna Claire, learning how to manage two busy boys along with a newborn, healing, nursing, and spending time together as a family of five. We are so blessed to have Matt home for three weeks, and having him here has made this transition so much better.
Anna Claire is a very sweet, snuggly little girl. She is most content when she is curled up in a little ball in our arms. She still sleeps a lot and only fusses or cries when she is hungry. I hold her all the time because she is my last baby and I want to soak up every moment of it. When we do put her down, she likes to sleep in her bouncy chair, and she tends to like her swing when she is awake. And so Owen has named them the "sleeping seat" and the "awake seat, which seems very appropriate.
Jack absolutely adores his sister and is very curious about her. He loves to hold her and talk to her. He calls her "sweet girl" and goes "Sh sh sh sh sh" when she fusses and rubs her head when she is tired. He has been incredibly helpful and will do anything I ask him to do for her. Owen...well, Owen is still adjusting to his new sister. He does not show as much interest in interacting with Anna Claire, but he does talk about her. He has always been my "baby" so he is adjusting to having me hold a new baby now. As a result, Matt and Owen seem to have developed a new sweet little bond, and I love to see them be silly together.
Some of my favorite moments in the last week have been reading books to all the kids together, watching Matt hold his newborn daughter with a gentleness I never saw with the boys, going to the park as a family and carrying Anna around in my new wrap, and dressing Anna Claire up in adorable little girl clothes.
One of my favorite songs is called "My Beloved" by Kari Jobe. It's such a beautiful song and captures so much truth that I long for Anna Claire to hide in her heart. I think every girl/woman I have ever met can relate to the struggles of not feeling beautiful or not just feeling like they are enough. I pray that Anna Claire knows how beautiful she is and that her worth comes from the One who made her. And that she is so incredibly loved. So I'll leave you with this...a few moments of our first days with Anna Claire along with the words that I pray she will always cling to as she grows into the beautiful girl God made her to be.
