Blogging...a new adventure

Pretty much as long as I can remember, I have wanted children.  I remember "working" in the church nursery with my mom when I was barely out of the nursery myself.  I played house and spent hours swaddling and rocking and singing to my dolls. In fact, at the tender age of four, my sweet Baby Ann felt a little chilly to me, so I did what only a good mother could do, and I turned on the gas stove and held her over it to warm her up. Thank goodness I only charred her hair...Anyway, the point is that I have been a mother at heart probably since the day I was born. 

As an adult, I chose a career working with children.  I learned all about how to educate them and teach them to behave.  I just knew being a mom would be easy...I had it all figured out.

Of course I was thrilled when God blessed us with our firstborn son, Jack. 

My motherly dreams were finally coming true!!  But it wasn't long before I realized that God has a great sense of humor, because everything I thought I knew about kids and parenting clearly did not apply with little Jack. 

I started to realize that maybe I might learn more from Jack than he would learn from me.

Then along came Owen...another sweet bundle of joy!  And he really was.  Owen was born laughing.  He is fun and crazy and just happy to be here. 

He is also stubborn and strong-willed and likes to say no.  A lot.  (I honestly don't know where he gets it...shhhh, mom.) 

God has used my children to teach me so many things...patience, love, consistency, selflessness, humility, joy, discipline, empathy, more patience...the list goes on.  All topics for another day...

As for today, I rejoice in being a mother to these two little boys, these reckless little spirits that have taught me so much already in their short little lives.  I don't know why God chose me to be their mom, but I am honored and humbled by such a great responsibility that He has entrusted to me.   Deep down, I feel that every moment of everyday....

However....

I have learned that the enormous task of stay-at-home mom is a tad more challenging than I had ever imagined.  Grocery shopping. Cleaning house. Doing laundry. Paying bills. Cooking healthy meals.  Doing dishes.  And of course, taking care of the sweet children.  It is quite frankly, a job that I cannot do alone.  Thank goodness for my sweet husband Matt who sometimes daily steps in and does far more than his share of the housework after working a full day at work ( I love you, honey!).  The truth is being a stay-at-home mom is not for the faint-of-heart.  It is challenging in an entirely different way than any other profession I know.  Even more than that, though, being a stay-at-home mom is...well, it's just plain lonely.  I like people.  I like looking at them.  I like talking to them.  I like to hear their voices and laugh with them and just be around them.  I have a thousand different thoughts that I have throughout the day that swirl around in my head and keep me awake at night...

I have considered blogging for a while, but I always come back to the question of who would want to read it?  Really.  Well, I guess I have finally decided it doesn't really matter who reads it.  I can share my days with two people or a thousand people or no people at all, but at the end of the day, I have emptied my little brain, and I can rest a little easier.  So here's my latest adventure.  If you're reading this, bless your heart for making it *almost* to the end of my rambling...and I hope you'll stay tuned for more...

I'll end on this note...on more days than not, I feel that I have not quite measured up.  I am overwhelmed by my inability to sufficiently complete all those many mommy tasks set before me.   Insecurity can swallow me up with just one tough day (toys everywhere, beds not made, grumpy kids, five loads of laundry to do, frozen pizza for dinner kind of day).  On those days, I find rest in these words...

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank the Lord that I can boast about my weaknesses!  Now that is something I'm good at. 

What verses do you find comfort in?